Tuesday, April 1, 2008

To push or be pushed…that is the question

Well it is the question when you ride the bus to work in San Francisco, like I do. The ten minutes I spend every morning on bus # 45 has taught me more life lessons then the 8 hours I spend everyday toiling away at my corporate job. Here are some lessons I learnt that some of you might find useful:

1. Always respect your elders. The cute old people get pretty darn nasty, physically and mentally (I have been the recipient of both violent pushing and evil eye glaring on many occasions) if anyone dares get between them and their seats.
2. Chivalry died many years ago (if it ever existed that is). After all the hard work that goes into their day, cooking, cleaning, working a 9-5 job, and staying up nights breast feeding their fussy 6 month old babies, men believe that they deserve to be seated, snug and warm, while an 8-month pregnant woman balances her laptop bag and protruding stomach on a constantly moving, crowded bus.
3. When packing your bags, make sure you pack your shoes outside rather than inside your bags. Today when I was chivalrous enough to sacrifice my seat for an older lady (by older I mean older than my grandma), a blonde haired, shorts claden, flip flop wearing surfer dude (not that I mean to stereotype, this is the honest truth) was nearly successful in knocking me off the bus with his worn out and interest smelling nikes that hung comfortably outside his backpack.
4. Too many ingredients spoil the dish. The bus ride (and sometimes even the caltrain ride) to work has proven to be a very useful science experiment, the result of which has led me to conclude that Indian curry, Chinese fish sauce and Victoria's Secret perfume can be substituted in place of chloroform to knock people out.

Hope these help you as much as they have me. The learning, I have realized, just never ends. Quirky people and queer places have taught me more in life then books and schools ever could.

P.S. 1 week down, 51 more to go!

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